Of random roomates and neighbors
by Cannibalistic Brat
Summary: Will just be a bunch of random AU one shots, but all in the same realm of each other. T for swearing which is sure to show itself regularly and whatever else may show up. Human names used. Will be a bit of everyone.
1. Of gamers and cellphones

"Shit dude, you're supposed to have my back! What the fuck are you doing?" The screen in front of him went red before it trailed of into a 'you have been deafeted' screen. Alfred raised his controller in hand, as if ready to throw it, before bringing it back down into his lap. He wasn't about to bust another controller, and this one was his last spare. If he busted this one, he might have to cry at his own ability to brake every controller he had when he lost. After a second of noticing the other really wasn't making any movements to be seen from the corner of his eye, he drew his attention from the game and looked at the other. "You are not texting. Oh _Hellll no_. You're not texting. You where texting and that's why I died? Really? Fuck you, bro."

Gilbert flipped his cellphone shut with a snap and finally looked up to the screen telling of a given defeat, before looking over into very aggravated and annoyed blue eyes. "But I was texting people! ...And you said you had my back and I died too so you didn't, you un awesome _liar._"

"You only died because I died because you weren't watching my back so you're the liar, not to mention, I. Fucking. _Died_." Alfred roared.

God dammit, he would have had someone else team up with him if he knew this was going to be the case. Who the hell was he texting anyway? "Who the fuck are you texting anyway? Tell them you where shot and can't message them back." Alfred repeated his thoughts out loud before checking his headshots made and changing out his weapon for a new one he had just unlocked, Gilbert soon doing the same.

"Someone." The albino answered, completely oblivious to the blondes last command. That, or just blowing it off. Fuck him, the awesome Gilbert _doesn't take commands_. ... Unless, you know, he had to.

"Someone you're fucking?"

Gilbert heard the cockiness in the others voice. He scoffed. "Fuck off, dude. Don't be jealous."

Alfred gave a sharp laugh. As if someone like himself could be jealous. Alfred F. Jones doesn't get jealous. He could get someone he wants, ANYONE he wants. Everyone loved him.

Gilbert set in his weapon change, a 'ping' sounding from the screen as he did so.

"Your fuck friend, text 'em telling them to stop texting. I want to get through this mission, so do it. _Now_." The blonde commanded once more. He was going to get this level done. Oh, he was going to accomplish this level even if the one next to him was no longer of the living kind.

"Stop being a whiny bitch, and I already did so, so shut up. Now," Gilbert laughed. His eyes locked onto the screen of the television as he started another game, "you better not fucking die on the awesome me." he added. Mr. pretty boy hero better keep his eyes ope, because he would _not _be saving his ass.

"As if I would ever, I'm pretty sure that you're goin' to be the one having to worry about that."

And so, the most epic video game battle ever began to take place, followed by screams, _Manly _screams, that is, by the nights progression when one died, leaving their partner to take out their enemies alone. So much for either ones word.

**-xxx-**

Just down the street, another gaming fight of the Call of Duty type was taking place in a much similar fashion.

"Abel, are you going to put down that phone or am I going to have to pry it from your filthy fingers? Maybe I'll butcher 'em off instead." A very menciangly, irritated voice spoke up beside the spiky haired Dutch. FUCK.

_HA._

The Dutch boy looked over and Grinned a bit manically himself getting in the others face. A stare down was eminent.

"If you do that, then who would you find to team up with, hmmm? You fucking suck at COD, Mathias. _YOU. FUCKING. SUCK_."

They glared at each other, matching shit eating grins plasterd upon their features. They where going to show each other that they where better than the other. Whatever cost.

"Zombie. Nazies. _NOW._ We'll see who sucks. I win, I get your stash. And Bragging rights... For a month."

With a slight hesitation, that was stuff was his baby, he had to think about it for a second, he replied. "...Fine. If I win though, I get that pretty little axe you love so much."

"Of course. I'll be winning anyways so I have nothing to worry about. You on the other hand... Better be prepared to hand over _all _of your hidden stash. I know you have a lot more than you ever let on. You do a shit job of hidding it."

With a new found determination to beat one another and win the others loves, both peeled their glaring eyes off one another and set forth to their game.

* * *

So, I may have been playing rainbow Vegas with my sister (My previous game died off into oblivion). I also may have been ready to kill her on numerous occasions because of her texting her boyfriend when she thought it was 'safe'. LIES. GODFREAKINGDAMMIT. YOU CANT DO THAT. ITS NOT COOL. Come to find out the next day, that her bf was also doing the same thing my sister was doing to me while playing the game, to his friend. I proceed to yell at them both. :x

As for the way the charchters where set up, I don't know, bros. **Abel **is just going to be Netherlands.

This will just be a whole bunch of random AU one shots shorts. More likely based on obnoxiousness, and random fun time idiocy. Hurrah!

NOTHING OF HETALIA WILL EVER BE MINE. I disclaim any ownership of these little buggars.


	2. Supercartoons

A door slammed open, two obnoxious blondes came bustling through speaking of great things for the night to come.

"Aww yeaaaaa. That sounds like a deal, bro. Let's get on this shit."

"You better believe it is. Something that awesome is only brought to you by my awesomeness. Let's get Jones, he can always appreciate something this great. Yo' Jone-"

"Shut the hell up! I'm trying to watch the best American cartoon known to mankind!" Alfred yelled from the plush couch he was sunken into from the living room. He took an empty coke can and aimed it at the front door, it hitting dead above Gilbert's head, though not fazing the albino in a bit.

"Oh yea? What?" Gilbert snickered. "I came up with the most awesome plans for tonight, screw cartoons bro." Alfred proceeded to grab the remote and turn up the volume to it's highest setting.

"...Oh man, Gil. He's broken out his superman cape. Has'ta be somethin' with superheroes." Mathias pointed at the ends of the bright red cape that hung over the back of the couch, and laughed.

_God, _last time that cape was broken out, the blondes wanna-be hero persona skyrocketed. He even went over plans of how he could himself fly. Oh, the laughs they spent when Gilbert decided to mess with Alfred's 'heroic flying plans'. They where marked top secret, even.

"_I will get the recipe for Arthur's sconces, lock you in a closet and force feed them to you while your brothers watch._"

Gilbert and Mathias laughed before settling and letting the themselves imagine such horror.

The pair made there way over to the couch snatching the remote from Alfred's side and checked the guide to see what had there freind's attention.

"Yep! More superhero cartoons, Gil. It seems we must take action. Now and forever for thirty minutes shall we be doomed with sir dimwit hero."

"Tch. Seriously, shut up. I'll go all superman on your guises' ass. 'Sides, it's almost over. And whatever your head came up with, I'm the one who's going to make it that much more incredibly, heroicly awesome, so just wait and I'll bring it like I always do, _bros."_

"Ha!" Gilbert gave a quick curt laugh. "Bullshit, dude. Bullshit. You only come along because- " "The chicks fucking love me and can't stand you. I'm your guys' chick magnet. What the hell did you guys have planned to do tonight anyways?" Alfred cut him off.

And Gilbert smacked him upside the head.

The guy was two years younger than him. How the hell did he manage to still pull off puppy dog eyes? It had to be his own awesome aura rubbing off on the kid. It was the only reasonable excuse for him getting the chicks he gets.

"One word. Turtles."

"Yea. Antonio has some turtles, and where going to race them. That priss roommate of his, that Romano kid, isn't there for the weekend." The credits began to roll as the cartoon was over, and the t.v. was soon flipped off.

"Anything else we're doing?"

"Beir, of course. Where going to get piss wasted. Don't worry though. Mathias and I'll get you yours."

"...better. You guys sucked last time." And with that, the trio of _Awesome_ bros was off the couch, and twenty minutes later, out the door.

* * *

AWE YEAAA. Super heroes are win, bros. SERIOUSLY. Seems like a legit scenario for Alfred, right? HA.

I WISH I HAD A SUPERMAN CAPE. Actually, I REALLY NEED ONE. Or you know, just a cape. WHY CAN'T I FIND ONE? I will die a slow, painfull death without such. ;_;


	3. Cryptid

"You where holding out on me. Tell me about it. You have to tell me about it. You saw it right? _Tell me._"

The blonde just seconds before had burst in his door, letting himself in of course, and went on about something he knew nothing of. All with a sort of curiosity and amusement showing in his blue eyes.

"What are you talking about Alfred? And a door is used for keeping people out that they do not wish in, da."

"It's also used for letting people in. You know, it's a lot easier opening one than kicking one in. I kicked Gil's in this one time and I almost broke my leg. Whatever. And the Brusno... -whatever dragon! You have to tell me about it. You're Russian, I know you are! You have to tell me! Did you see it?"

"I am sure I still do not know of what you are talking about, Alfred." He sighed in slight annoyance of his roommate.

Alfred left Ivan's room only to re-appear once more, before Ivan could get the door shut, and shoved a book in the others face. The last part, being more annoying than the rest.

"I was reading this book, right? With all kinds of monster and stuff like Bigfoot and the chupacabra and I came across some loch ness monster kind of thing in Russia. You have to tell me about it."

Trying very hard not to strangle his obnoxious and obviously stupid roommate already, he pulled the book away from his face and starred at the other. "Alfred?" He asked in a dull tone.

"Yes?" The blonde replied, anxiously. Oh crap. He had seen the monster!

"What makes you think I know anything about such silly, trivial things? Because I am from Russia does not mean I know anything, nor have seen such a thing. I know nothing of your monster."

... And then his hopes of a story was shattered. "But Ivaaaan."

"Stop whining, Alfred. You are not a child." _Even though you act like one, _his mind echoed, "I said I know nothing about your dragon in a book. Why do you read such nonsense?"

Alfred pouted, but he guess it couldn't be helped. If he didn't know, he didn't know. Or he was lying to him! ...Or he didn't know. Anyways, "Fine. Because it's cool. Have you ever wondered if there's something out there? Besides yourself and the things you know?"

"...Like your aliens?" Ivan mused.

"Hey! Aliens _are _real. Everyone knows it, but they're just locked up in area 51. They're probably training them for something super secret. They probably have some kind of powers. ...But anyways, It's like something forgien to everything you know. It's kinda scary, but completely interesting and you want to find out more about it."

"Da, Alfred. What ever your silly book tells you. You will knock next time, da? Or maybe you will pretend my door has powers and is, ah, ...invisible."

"Fine, fine. I'll leave you be, but I won't save you from any monsters when they try to eat you! Remember that." Alfred began making his way out of the others room.

"Well, it can not be helped then. I will just be eaten by this ...Brosno dragon?, when it comes around." Ivan chuckled.

Already out the others room, he caught the others remark and replied back, almost yelling, "It lives in water! And in Russia! It says so in the boo-"

And the door was shut cutting off anything left to be said.

* * *

The Brosno dragon, dudes. Said to be a monster that lurks in lake Brosno; a lake in in western Russia. There's like all these little tales of how the monster helped Russia from since, like, the 13th century. Like eating an German airplane in WWll or scraing off forgein invaders, long ago. Because that is what an awesome story is made of! Kind of like the lock ness monster of Russia? BUT MORE EPIC. And nice. :3 I like reading about strange things like that, not that I believe any of it. xDIt's just intresting. A dragon like that sounds pretty good to have around though, right? haha. Cryptozoology, dudes.


End file.
